Set your story in a kitchen, either early in the day or late at night.

 https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/

It's so clean. Suspiciously so. And it's plain that she can tell.

The girl's mother eyes the counters, wiped clean with vinegar and lemons, and exits the kitchen. 

"Good job, Faith. Thank you so much", she says. A sigh of relief escapes the daughter's lips and she cheerily heads to her room. Busted. That sigh could only mean something was wrong. 

Later that night, mom raids the kitchen for a snack and decides to do a sweep. Counters and cabinets open, oven investigated, and finally that fridge. Once opened, it reveals an appalling smell. A month-old chicken in the back of the back shelf! 

"Faith!!!", she screams, pounding on the door and immediately entering the room. "Come throw away this Goddamn chicken. And scrub that pan!"

But come on. A month old? 

That was everyone's fault. 

Awake and can't sleep

Hello,

Here's a poem for you

I am awake and can't sleep
but I'm thinking of you
I miss you a lot 
And I'm thinking of what we'll do
when we finally meet
it'll be another hi
It's sad how we don't count them
as much as we count goodbyes

I'm not the best poetry writer but this. is. art.

Goodnight,
Faith

What's going on in Tampa

This is what was going on with me when I lived in Tampa in 2024. Perhaps I was trying to start a travel blog? LOL

Hello friend,

I recently moved to Tampa and so far it is been interesting. I have been a number of places since there is a lot that interests me here:

There are several orchestras here.
I discovered a couple of sushi places, one called Kiwami and another called Samurai Sushi.
Kiwami has ramen, too.
There is also bubble tea here--A Kung Fu Tea!

Eventually I will write more about:
The Tampa Metropolitan Youth Orchestra
The University of Tampa Orchestra
The Tampa Bay Symphony Orchestra
Violin Shop Tampa and Sarasota
Kung Fu Tea and Token Ramen
Kiwami Ramen and Sushi Place
Mathnasium
Engineering
University of South Florida
University of Tampa
Tampa Bay River Walk

I'm overestimating how much I'll write hahahaha. I only plan to post on the last Tuesday of every month this year. Hopefully as the years go by, I'll find something more specific to write about.

Best,


Waterfall girl

Meditation Reflection no.3

Thoughts on who I am and what makes me...me. 

The energy it took to get me to exist as I am now seems monumental. From conception, I simply came about from a Florida girl and a Mississippi boy having a spring fling in college, but I mean to say that it took a great deal for me to become the woman I am today. And I may be overly proud of that. I am letting go of the struggle and learning to leave with ease, and it's a lesson and a luxury I hope to share with others around, especially my own children (if conditions allow me to have them). 

Reflective and a little uptight, I lived what felt like a life of supporting my mother through single parenthood. The eldest child stereotypically gets parentified, especially daughters, and I fit the stereotype completely. My parents were proud of me for my willingness to conform to the polite, nurturing, and domestic image of a southern belle while simultaneously preparing me for the demands of the modern world that drove me to pursue lucrative careers like engineering and politics. Now, I'm beginning to see that my parents weren't proud of me, they were proud of themselves for molding a mind and living a life they couldn't. Ego told hold in the parent-child relationship: I was only their latest and greatest creation. That should make me feel special, but in a poor, working-class family, it created too much pressure. Failure was not an option. 

Failure inevitably came through; however, my spirit was not adverse to the experience. This was the beginning of my spirituality: releasing myself from expectations to be the exception and not the norm. I got into a good college. I'm still proud of that; however, my failures shaped me and ultimately led to my current belief system. I failed in every area: health, love, school, family, confidence. I did not bounce back from my adversity immediately or white knuckle through it. I took a lot of breaks and I found peace in several activities. 

Writing has always been the fallback, but when I fell in love with an emotionally unavailable person, the pastime lost its luster and I would even begin to cry. I wrote to the person a lot and even the mere action brought about tears. So I took to cooking and took on challenging recipes like mochi, paella, various chilis, and hand-pressed ravioli. I read cookbooks and watched Chopped for a year. 

Next was meditation. I was reluctant to join a group because it was Buddhist, but the dean who advised me to go at my alma mater reassured me that the practice was open to people with secular views. I eventually took Buddhism in as a refuge anyway and it brought me peace, clarity, and compassion in a way that I can't describe. I was even able to make some progress in reconciling with the unrequited love I mentioned earlier.

Gaming also took on a role in my recovery, as well as music. I dramatically increased my skills in both areas and it gave me confidence. 

Something I wish I reflected more. Although I consider myself introspective, I believe my methods could use improvement. While taking on these actions got me through a rough patch, working part-time while in college for seven years, I need to consider how all of my actions impact my health and well-being: before, during, and after. 

Exercise is one of the best ways to notice your body before, during, and after, and I don't do it enough. As someone with a mood disorder, I don't take exercise seriously enough as a treatment for my symptoms and a contribution to mindfulness. 

Before. During. After.

Meditation Reflection no. 2

Today I read some parts of a book addressing intergenerational trauma and presenting Buddhism as a path for healing trauma, especially in a racial context. I noticed an aversion towards accepting a single religion or philosophy to address one's trauma. That aversion is partial to my experience, as I came across several religions before landing on Buddhism and was even welcomed to Hindu practice (an honor) in an informal setting. I was raised Christian, but the religion never landed for me.  That didn't sit well with many in the belly of Georgia. The journey to find relief, spiritual rest, and a higher self was fun. 

Eventually, the search became more of a hunt as free time waned and met more struggles. The trauma I experienced is through the lens of a black woman or girl. It's burned in my brain: "You're African first" my father told me. And I'm a woman first, I quickly believed about myself. These views are simply formed though by the way people have categorized me, day to day and throughout history. 

My history is forever with me, and as I learn where I come from I realize a certain freedom and empowerment. Did I learn it through Buddhism? I don't think so. I experienced this freedom through music and reading, and Buddhism is a great reminder and articulation of the concept: the concept of continuation. The continuation of time, history, and ourselves. The meaning of our legacies is magnified as the Buddhist teachings tell us that we exist not only in ourselves but also in those around us. And those continuations of ourselves also have the power to health in their new manifestations. 

Did you water a flower? Watch it grow and bring a small to your face. 

Had a fight with a partner? They may return with love and forgiveness in their heart. 

Similarly, the people in our lives and the world we interact with can impart joy and wisdom to us, even under circumstances of intergenerational trauma, even if the interaction is negative. Take a break, rest, and walk in nature. It's amazing what touching the soil, hugging a tree, or wading in the ocean can do for you. Descendants of slaves in the U.S. marched to freedom. We can make the journey to liberation from our traumas. My particular practice brings me comfort and strengthens my belief system and my faith. 

Quarantine: Some tips about learning Korean

3 13 2020

Dear Reader,

After a nice evening nap (that turned into a full blown slumber) I found myself up at 1 AM wondering what to do with myself. I have been practicing Korean and feeling like I'm getting a little stuck, so I said to myself: what the heck, why not try to study now.

I googled 요리사 to try and find something familiar to start with. After some time in TTMIK (talktomeinkorean.com) I know the word for cook and a bunch of other words to help me me get started talking more deeply about regular areas of life. I talk a lot about food, engineering, and school, so I look up the words 요리사 (cook) and 공학 (engineering study) a lot. As I try and read, it's really a walk through the dictionary, but it's fun to discover nouns and verbs used in a context that I actually find useful. So I don't mind the dictionary walk because I know I will  be using what I learned very soon. Even when there's no one to talk to, I just keep a diary and talk about what interests me. Sometimes I write in Korean to practice the new words I learn. my goal is to one day be familiar enough with Korean that I can write my everyday kind of thoughts in Korean. So the familiar things I tend to learn about in Korean are also words pertaining to love, dating, family, and money. I also end up turning to TTMIK (a great resource that I highly recommend checking out whether you're a beginner or advanced) to learn more grammar so that I can express more complex ideas in Korean. Right now though, I'm just trying to get more creative with the basic structures and transition words I already know.

This brings me to a point about language practice that I really wanna talk about: breaking down your English thinking into simpler sentences so that it's easier to start thinking in Korean. What I like to do is write a paragraph about some in English. Then, if it's too complex for me to translate in Korean, instead of going to a translator straight away I start to wonder if there is a simpler or more concise way of expressing my ideas.
For example....

When an English sentence is hard, I make an easy sentence that means the same. Then I use a dictionary with the easy sentence. [long sentence, subordinate adverbial clause, descriptive clause]

or

This sentence is too hard. I'll write an easy, similar sentence. Then I'll use the dictionary. [simpler grammar structures, Subject-predicate, subject-verb-object, subject verb object, fewer words to look up]

Which sentence is easier to translate? The second one. Sure, maybe I'll get more out of trying to translate the first, but the second is just as useful in a similar context especially if I am talking to someone and I can point to what I'm doing. And progress is progress. If you're just not ready for the big stuff, write or speak smaller sentence. You have to start somewhere!

If you have an interest in any language--not just Korean--this was for you :)

Bye,

Waterfall girl.

Meditation reflection no. 1

 Today I started my day with a 5 minute meditation. I am sad that it was only five minutes, but I was sitting in an uncomfortable position and had a hard time focusing. I think to myself: how can I ever be a meditation practitioner when I can hardly sit still for 5 minutes? But I don't need to be too hard on myself--I'm not quite practicing as a meditation teacher yet. 

During meditation, I focused on my in and out breath, the top and bottom of the breath, and the parts of my body that weren't uncomfortable. I forgot that lack of discomfort is an opportunity to be happy about pain that isn't present. It's the concept of turning a neutral feeling into a positive one. I have been suffering a lot, so I want to increase my chances for happiness these days. 

After meditation, I decided I needed to write, which is what led me to blogger. Writing brings me happiness. So does reading, painting, and rides in the car (especially on a sunny day). I like a sunny room as well or spending time with loved ones. It's things that give me inner calm even when my outer world is chaotic. It's what brings peace, structure, and order to an otherwise disorganized life.