Today I started my day with a 5 minute meditation. I am sad that it was only five minutes, but I was sitting in an uncomfortable position and had a hard time focusing. I think to myself: how can I ever be a meditation practitioner when I can hardly sit still for 5 minutes? But I don't need to be too hard on myself--I'm not quite practicing as a meditation teacher yet.
During meditation, I focused on my in and out breath, the top and bottom of the breath, and the parts of my body that weren't uncomfortable. I forgot that lack of discomfort is an opportunity to be happy about pain that isn't present. It's the concept of turning a neutral feeling into a positive one. I have been suffering a lot, so I want to increase my chances for happiness these days.
After meditation, I decided I needed to write, which is what led me to blogger. Writing brings me happiness. So does reading, painting, and rides in the car (especially on a sunny day). I like a sunny room as well or spending time with loved ones. It's things that give me inner calm even when my outer world is chaotic. It's what brings peace, structure, and order to an otherwise disorganized life.
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