Meditation Reflection no. 2

Today I read some parts of a book addressing intergenerational trauma and presenting Buddhism as a path for healing trauma, especially in a racial context. I noticed an aversion towards accepting a single religion or philosophy to address one's trauma. That aversion is partial to my experience, as I came across several religions before landing on Buddhism and was even welcomed to Hindu practice (an honor) in an informal setting. I was raised Christian, but the religion never landed for me.  That didn't sit well with many in the belly of Georgia. The journey to find relief, spiritual rest, and a higher self was fun. 

Eventually, the search became more of a hunt as free time waned and met more struggles. The trauma I experienced is through the lens of a black woman or girl. It's burned in my brain: "You're African first" my father told me. And I'm a woman first, I quickly believed about myself. These views are simply formed though by the way people have categorized me, day to day and throughout history. 

My history is forever with me, and as I learn where I come from I realize a certain freedom and empowerment. Did I learn it through Buddhism? I don't think so. I experienced this freedom through music and reading, and Buddhism is a great reminder and articulation of the concept: the concept of continuation. The continuation of time, history, and ourselves. The meaning of our legacies is magnified as the Buddhist teachings tell us that we exist not only in ourselves but also in those around us. And those continuations of ourselves also have the power to health in their new manifestations. 

Did you water a flower? Watch it grow and bring a small to your face. 

Had a fight with a partner? They may return with love and forgiveness in their heart. 

Similarly, the people in our lives and the world we interact with can impart joy and wisdom to us, even under circumstances of intergenerational trauma, even if the interaction is negative. Take a break, rest, and walk in nature. It's amazing what touching the soil, hugging a tree, or wading in the ocean can do for you. Descendants of slaves in the U.S. marched to freedom. We can make the journey to liberation from our traumas. My particular practice brings me comfort and strengthens my belief system and my faith. 

Quarantine: Some tips about learning Korean

3 13 2020

Dear Reader,

After a nice evening nap (that turned into a full blown slumber) I found myself up at 1 AM wondering what to do with myself. I have been practicing Korean and feeling like I'm getting a little stuck, so I said to myself: what the heck, why not try to study now.

I googled 요리사 to try and find something familiar to start with. After some time in TTMIK (talktomeinkorean.com) I know the word for cook and a bunch of other words to help me me get started talking more deeply about regular areas of life. I talk a lot about food, engineering, and school, so I look up the words 요리사 (cook) and 공학 (engineering study) a lot. As I try and read, it's really a walk through the dictionary, but it's fun to discover nouns and verbs used in a context that I actually find useful. So I don't mind the dictionary walk because I know I will  be using what I learned very soon. Even when there's no one to talk to, I just keep a diary and talk about what interests me. Sometimes I write in Korean to practice the new words I learn. my goal is to one day be familiar enough with Korean that I can write my everyday kind of thoughts in Korean. So the familiar things I tend to learn about in Korean are also words pertaining to love, dating, family, and money. I also end up turning to TTMIK (a great resource that I highly recommend checking out whether you're a beginner or advanced) to learn more grammar so that I can express more complex ideas in Korean. Right now though, I'm just trying to get more creative with the basic structures and transition words I already know.

This brings me to a point about language practice that I really wanna talk about: breaking down your English thinking into simpler sentences so that it's easier to start thinking in Korean. What I like to do is write a paragraph about some in English. Then, if it's too complex for me to translate in Korean, instead of going to a translator straight away I start to wonder if there is a simpler or more concise way of expressing my ideas.
For example....

When an English sentence is hard, I make an easy sentence that means the same. Then I use a dictionary with the easy sentence. [long sentence, subordinate adverbial clause, descriptive clause]

or

This sentence is too hard. I'll write an easy, similar sentence. Then I'll use the dictionary. [simpler grammar structures, Subject-predicate, subject-verb-object, subject verb object, fewer words to look up]

Which sentence is easier to translate? The second one. Sure, maybe I'll get more out of trying to translate the first, but the second is just as useful in a similar context especially if I am talking to someone and I can point to what I'm doing. And progress is progress. If you're just not ready for the big stuff, write or speak smaller sentence. You have to start somewhere!

If you have an interest in any language--not just Korean--this was for you :)

Bye,

Waterfall girl.

Meditation reflection no. 1

 Today I started my day with a 5 minute meditation. I am sad that it was only five minutes, but I was sitting in an uncomfortable position and had a hard time focusing. I think to myself: how can I ever be a meditation practitioner when I can hardly sit still for 5 minutes? But I don't need to be too hard on myself--I'm not quite practicing as a meditation teacher yet. 

During meditation, I focused on my in and out breath, the top and bottom of the breath, and the parts of my body that weren't uncomfortable. I forgot that lack of discomfort is an opportunity to be happy about pain that isn't present. It's the concept of turning a neutral feeling into a positive one. I have been suffering a lot, so I want to increase my chances for happiness these days. 

After meditation, I decided I needed to write, which is what led me to blogger. Writing brings me happiness. So does reading, painting, and rides in the car (especially on a sunny day). I like a sunny room as well or spending time with loved ones. It's things that give me inner calm even when my outer world is chaotic. It's what brings peace, structure, and order to an otherwise disorganized life.